The Kumite of Yarnia—Thread Lightly or Die Trying

Soft doesn’t mean safe.

The Kumite of Yarnia isn’t just a fight—it’s a reckoning, played out in a ring stitched from centuries of bad blood and worse decisions. The combatants? Thread-bound warriors, crochet brutes, and stuffed champions with nothing to lose but their stuffing. The rules? None. The stakes? Everything. Fights start with a bow and end when someone’s seam pops, stuffing spills, or an opponent gets reduced to a pile of tangled yarn. Some Yarnian warriors enter with finely reinforced stitches, triple-knotted for endurance. Others rely on the ancient, dishonorable art of unpicking an opponent mid-swing. And then there are the ones who don’t fight at all, just standing there, letting the tension build until someone snaps—literally. The crowd? Ruthless. The referees? Absent. The moment the bell rings, it’s every soft soul for itself.

The Friendly Robot Travel Agency advises all visitors to choose their seating wisely—ringside seats come with the real risk of getting hit with stray stuffing. Betting is encouraged, but don’t gamble on a fighter with loose ends. Those never last long.

Wishbone Cost: 

Rick’s Review:

"Bet big on a Yarnian with reinforced seams. Watched them get unraveled in two moves by an opponent with a crochet hook and bad intentions. The fight lasted less than a minute. My regret? Still going."

Rick’s Tee-Hee Rating: