OOGH-IV Red Light District—Where Instinct Meets Poor Judgment

They barely understand fire, but somehow, they built this.

Homos don’t fully grasp the concept of a red-light district, but that hasn’t stopped them from building one. What started as a barter system gone wildly off the rails has become OOGH-IV’s most bafflingly profitable industry. The result? A glowing, chaotic marketplace where nobody’s entirely sure what’s for sale—but everybody’s buying. Patrons stumble into dimly lit caves, unsure if they’re in a club, a gambling den, or just someone’s house. The locals? Not much help. Every exchange is a series of aggressive nods, dramatic pointing, and the occasional celebratory club swing. Some transactions end in victory, some end in confusion, and some end in a brawl that technically counts as entertainment. The biggest draw? The peep shows. Not because they’re particularly scandalous but because the performers have no idea how long they’re supposed to last. The longest-running show has been going for three years. No one wants to be the first to blink.

The Friendly Robot Travel Agency suggests entering with low expectations, a flexible definition of currency, and a backup plan in case you accidentally purchase a family heirloom.

Wishbone Cost: 

Rick’s Review:

"Paid for a show. Performer made direct eye contact and just stood there, breathing heavily. Didn’t know if it was intimidation or part of the act. After five minutes, I left. He was still there. Pretty sure he won."

Rick’s Tee-Hee Rating: