Miss Planet Zee Pageant—A Beauty Contest That Refuses to End

It’s not about beauty. It’s about survival.

The Miss Planet Zee Pageant started centuries ago, and nobody knows how to stop it. Contestants don’t just compete—they persist. A slow, endless procession of undead beauty queens, each shuffling forward at the speed of geological drift, held together by sequins, sheer determination, and whatever body parts are still attached. More enter every year. None leave. Bets pile high on who’ll last the longest, who’ll lose a limb mid-strut, who’ll be the first to take a bite out of the competition. And when it happens? Not disqualifying. Just strategy. Some of these queens have been in the running so long, they’ve forgotten why they started. They only know they must keep walking. The winner isn’t the most elegant, the most poised, or even the most intact—it’s whoever is still standing when everyone else collapses into a heap of bad decisions.

The Friendly Robot Travel Agency suggests betting on bones—flesh fades, but structure lasts. If you think you can predict the winner, you’re already wrong.

Wishbone Cost: 

Rick’s Review:“

"Watched a contestant trip, lose a leg, and keep moving. Ten minutes later, she picked it up and started eating it. Judges gave her extra points for commitment. I don’t think she even knew she was in a pageant."

Rick’s Tee-Hee Rating: